Jump: Part One

Jump.  

My word of the year.

Completely fitting for 2014 and we are only 2 days in. 

But more on that later... I need to get this timeline down somewhere because I want to remember how I got from there to here.

Past to Present.

The Beginning- 2010:  
When Sailor Studio started in August 2010, it was my mom, my sis-n-law, and I working together, throwing around ideas and designs and working day to day. Being a part of the artist program and gallery in Stone Mountain was a great learning experience, but we didn't really have a big plan for the future.

 Grand Opening - Stone Mtn Village Oct 2010

 

awww, so little...

None of us had a lot of money to invest into the business, so we were just doing everything little by little, whatever we could afford. Thankfully my mom's mentor, Peggy, gave my mom a ton of enameling supplies so we were able to set up the studio on a tiny budget and get started. That first 6 months was so much fun, just soaking up the experience and learning everything about running a small business.

2011:
A year later things had changed... we were still working at the gallery in Stone Mtn, but other family issues had put us all on edge and things were just overall stressed and strained at work. The business had no structure, no real leadership or accountability, which was a huge mistake from the get-go.

By the fall of 2011, my mom got remarried and was adjusting to that, my sister-n-law no longer worked there, and I had a big decision to make. I wasn't sure if my mom wanted to continue Sailor Studio as it was, or if she wanted to do something separate with her husband, Randy. There was a lot up in the air and I was just a wreck, not really knowing what my next move should be. I didn't want to quit, but I also couldn't work with things being so strained... it just wasn't worth it.

Towards the end of 2011, I had a long talk with my mom and basically told her if she wanted to continue the business with just her and Randy, I would be okay with separating and starting my own thing... that I thought it would end badly if we continued the way things were and it might be better to just go ahead and split amicably. The business was "officially" hers... she was the artist in the program and her name was on everything, so I thought starting fresh would probably be the easier way to go. I was very sad about it at the time, how everything was changing... I mean I had lived and breathed Sailor Studio for the past year and the idea that it would end was depressing.

But after talking everything over with my husband, I realized I had really gotten the entrepreneur "bug" and knew that I could start over with something new. I learned some hard lessons and gained a lot of invaluable experience from that first year of chaos, so now I just had to focus on a new idea and go for it.

In early December, my mom and I agreed that the time at the gallery in Stone Mountain had run its course and wasn't really worth it anymore. Her and Randy were going to start something on their own, focusing on the larger art pieces and stained glass... and she told me if I wanted to continue on with the jewelry line, I could have the Sailor Studio name.

2012:
I went back and forth for awhile about changing the name to make it officially a new company and save any confusion... but I really just loved the name Sailor Studio. Sailor is my mom's middle name, given to her because my grandfather was in the navy. It really meant something to me and I loved the nautical look that we played off of with everything from the anchor logo to the website and craft show set-up. I thought the pros outweighed the cons and decided to keep the Sailor name.

So we met with the accountant, changed everything over, and I became sole owner of the business in January of 2012. I made a studio in the barn and continued everything from home, focusing on online sales and craft shows. Since we moved away from a public gallery, it took some time to test out what did/didn't make sense for a home-based business.

I got pregnant with Hubba in Dec of 2011- so I took it easy, not over-working myself the first half of 2012. The fall show season was great and things really started moving along with the business after Hudson was born in August. He was a craft show baby, traveling all over with us during his first 4 months of life. (We actually made our set-up with a little private wall space in the back so I could breastfeed him every three hours... awww such sweet memories :)

2013:
This past year was fantastic for Sailor Studio. Business just exploded and I finally began to make a real profit. We were moving inventory before that, but the majority of the money coming in was put right back into expenses and growing the business, with a little extra here and there. 

This year, I was able to really focus on what was profitable and not waste time/money on things that weren't. I finally had my best-selling pieces figured out, Etsy was stocked and bringing in business, and my display and inventory at the shows were finally the way I envisioned them. 

My husband and I had a a big goal of paying off all our credit cards (debt we had been carrying since we got married 9 years ago). We met that goal (wooohoooooo!!) and started saving, tentatively, for a new house.


Then, in November, a different opportunity presented itself... and in true Goose and Lily fashion... we went ahead and decided to jump.

_______________________________________

 Part 2 coming soon. 

4 Years- Evie

4 years... It seems like a minute ago I was writing her 3rd year post. 

I realized something about grief this week. It doesn't matter how much time has passed, if you lose someone dear to you, the hurt can come back in an instant and hit you like a freight truck. The pain isn't as raw... it softens over time. But it is still so very powerful.

A song, or driving by a certain street, or just a memory will flood back out of nowhere... And I am right there again, looking down at her...trying to memorize every crease of her teeny fingers and toes, and the curve of her little nose and chin. Knowing one day is all we have to take in every detail.

I am still taken aback sometimes by how much I miss her. Getting to watch Hudson go through all his adorable baby "firsts" now. It reminds me of her... There is such a noticeable gap between Reese and Hudson and every now and then I think, that's where Evie would be.  When I look in the rear view mirror and see the boys goofing off in the back, I sometimes get a flash of that 4 year old little girl right there in the middle, adding to the chaos. 

And my breath hitches and that rock lands right in the pit of my stomach and the tears prick the edge of my eyes and I have to push it away because it is all just too much to think about.

I guess that will never really go away, will it? It will be the same when they become teenagers. There will always be those dates that pop up... She would be 13, 16... Graduating high school... College...  picking out a wedding dress...

Sigh.

We finally got her head and foot stones put into place. We have had them for awhile, just hadn't put them down yet. My Gramp had these 2 stones that are a beautiful pink granite- just perfect. I love that they are natural stones not shaped by machines.

We spent part of our Thanksgiving at the cemetery putting them down... and though many might find that sad, there really isn't anywhere else I'd rather have been. See when life gets messy... anger, chaos, and frustration... you visit a grave site of a loved one, and it clears all the muck away. It is quiet and pure- there are no dramatics and obnoxious words and silliness. Everyone is there for the same purpose.
 

                 

There is only love there and a deep, quiet pain. It fills your soul with grief that only God can soothe... and the leaves are falling slowly and the slight breeze is like a gentle swaying song. God's spirit and grace is never so clear and strong and tangible as when I am standing there. I need it like I need air to breathe. I make so many mistakes and waste so much time on nonsense... but right there I know exactly who I am and why I am here. To love Him, to love her, to love you. 

So simple yet we make it so much more complicated than it needs to be... 

 
Thank you Evie, you are my heart- the very best part of me. You taught me how to let go and forgive. You woke me up and gave me a second chance to live life to the fullest. You brought me closer to Jesus, to my family, to Love. I will never, ever stop missing you, loving you, and being thankful for every second of our time together. Can't wait to see you again, sweet girl. Always, Mama.

  

PSALM 139

 13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

Dear Blog, I'm Still Alive.

Dear Little Blog of Mine, 

I am so so sorry for neglecting you this past year. 

I look back on my last post  with such shame (February, really??). Yes, I talked a big game about writing more, adding more posts about the business and the boys growing up. Lots of talk about giving you a makeover, and trying to make up for years of neglect... I got your hopes up for this brand new life, full of words and pictures and scheduled posts, and sadly, I disappointed you once again. 

So much has changed my sweet friend...   I'm a blonde now, did you even know?   And I finally lost the baby weight.  Where were you to document my progress with "before" and "after" pics and measurement updates?


And what about these awesome little guys?? Do you miss them?

They are getting so big and and their wild antics and 

conversations just keep getting better and better.

Hubba Bubba turned ONE in August, and bless his heart, he didn't even get a blog letter from Mama.

This on again, off again relationship is so dysfunctional- will we ever get it together? I’ve already told you so much: my hopes, dreams, struggles and failures. I know you have endless amounts of blog drafts stored away, never getting to feel the sweet release of that "publish" button.  I’ve burdened you with these thoughts and feelings but never allowed you to share them with the world which, after all, is the very purpose for your existence. 


I hope we can just start over, there are so many exciting things on the horizon that I’m just dying to share with you. I know you want to hear all about them!


Please give me a second chance my dear, I promise, once a week postings- I’ll do better this time! 

Sincerely,

Your long lost confidante ~ Lily